trading futures market is different from individuals stocks

Trading Vxx is different because it has a guessable above and below bound depending on the bear or bull conditions of the market. Certainly in a bear market like this the stock indexes vacillate between these bounds. When under a high leverage postion one should never take a loss on the future market although the same principle applies to individual stocks, in future market on has to be extra careful because unlike a individual market ( a micro asset) that is easier to understand the behavior and wait and hold till the stock move up(even if there is a loss of 5 percent on the treading 30 day MA).

In case of the future market like a VXX it is impossible to guess where the market is going in the short run. If one take a loss from the buy price one does not know when the stock will come back to the same price to get out of the situation. One needs a lot of patience and one has to leave the future for some time even if one is confident of the macro economic situation will go the way one is thinking.

VXX moved to 22.75 today. that is good news for me. But it has to move to 25.5 for get out off the train without a loss.

It could probably happen but I am in a wrong situation, instead of making  a profit I am waiting to recover losses. Hmmmmmm

Never never take a loss on the futures market. It is just unpredictable movement with the limited bounds.
One has to learn to buy or sell at the upper and lower bounds. On the peaks of the market or atleast near the peaks. Needs some expertise.

Have to take small losses in this game. That is for sure. Have to take losses for commmission costs but have to hold stocks and cover all the losses when the future moves in the macro economic reality
check situation from the market irrationality. Make money off the market irrationality. Sometime the irrationality can go far against ones situation. One should get out of such a situation. Not take a loss from the current buy situation. One should not be intimitated about the market irrationality.
One has to get out of the train and catch it at the right station. Thats what the game is all about.

The women in red

"I was waiting in the parking lot for the new date. It is almost 9 pm now and she asked me to get there by 8 pm. what must have happened to her. Her voice was so sweet on the telephone unlike any other women I talked before. I think I will marry her and give her whatever she need all her life. I would satisfy her to the utmost", thought vishaal.

It was a busy street and there were several restaurants,boutiques on this street. The traffic was not as bad as it usually is on this street during sunset. Vishaal was standing in front of the VICTORIA restaurant. People who passed by him gushed through him as if he never existed.

Vishaal thought, "where were all these people heading to? may be they all have a family to return to, a girlfriend or just a sweet home. Everybody goes home after work whats wrong in it. Where else can they go otherwise. all souls want to go home after wandering outside. They feel relieved when they get home this separation from home and getting back after work gives unrewarded satisfaction. 

she also said she would be dressed up in red gown. Vishaal's eyes now concentrated on everything red visible on the street. Vishaal thought," I should not miss anything red today. What a fool I would be if she came here today and I missed her because I was lost in some other lousy thought or distraction.

I cannot miss her in my life. She is the only train to the other side of my life. How great is married life indeed no one should miss the pristine pleasures of it.

Is it not the right age for me to get married? All the women I talked to were either too proud or too gullible. I want someone who is smart and intelligent. A women who can keep me happy either by honesty or trickery. I do not care. I only want happiness. When we are all dead who cares if we were happy for the right reasons. Life is too short to ask these questions and even if we ask them who cares for the answers. Just be happy by whatever means".

Now vishaal was looking at red color like never before in his life. Red was the only color he liked now or probably for rest of his life if his love showed up in her pretty dress.

People who went into the restaurant were coming with happy faces. Everybody looked happy and satisfied to him and he is the only one gloomy and lost. His future was in jeopardy now.  How sweet she was talking to him on the telephone. This telephone conversation was going on from a month now. He thought that no matter how a women looks she has to talk properly to a man. She has to know how to joke when he is upset or turn around his mood to happiness. Women was made to do that after all by the almighty. Who cares how she looks as long as she knows the art of mood uplifting"

Now it was getting too late may be 9.30 pm. Every minute was a long year for him. He was loosing confidence now.
How could she do that to him. He has given whatever kind of emotional support on the telephone as possible. There could not be anybody else who can be more decent and supportive of her future desires like him. Then after all this month of sweet talk why has she not turned up on time?

Life is a mystery he thought and time is another mystery. It drags when you really want it go fast.
He thought of giving one more concentrated and patient look to everything red in the area including the windows,neon lights, walls and people. when he has lost all hope he hid his face down and was looking at the square tiles on the footpath.

Suddenly a women came from his back and asked him if he was vishaal. Vishaal turned around in excitement, the kind that happens once in a lifetime. He stared at the women in Red for a long time. All the while she was making some gestures and talking to him but he could not hear her. when at last he woke up from this blankness and daze he could now hear some faint and wavering sounds in the air.

"Vishaal can you hear me? what is wrong with you?" said the women

Vishaal woke up and said that his name was not Vishaal and left her immediately.

when he came back home, he thought how could he get married to a women who does not look good even if she paints herself with red color. A man needs a women who looks good. Who needs a women who is intelligent and nice talking. A women has to look good and the man should feel that her beauty would not fade away like the everlasting mountains. he never picked up the phone calls again from this sweet talkie girl.

Raju: Life then and now

It was a beautiful evening and the soothing wind blew through my face. I was running along the with my dog on the hill slopes. These hills were dusty in the summer and green in the rainy season. I was only a 5 year old  kid then when my dad would take me and my dog, jojo to these hills on the outskirts of the city. I remember all those days with my dad and jojo. Dad would take me there usually an hour before the sunset and we would climb one of those dusty tracks to the top of the hill and sit there till the sun set. Away from the city, away from all the noise, the hustle bustle and drama of the city life. There tracks were actually dirt tracks made by dirt bikers over a long time. Sometimes on the weekends I would see these bikers racing on these hills. Man likes to even challenge the inert earth, make his way through the wilderness, climb the steepest mountains and jump from the highest fall. He loves the thrill of danger when his life is at stake. Man cannot rest; he needs an obstacle, a hurdle, a challenge and he has the strength and power of mind to over come the impediments.Sometimes he fails and sometimes he wins but nonetheless his spirit is unimpeded. 

Jojo was the quickest and I was next in climbing these hills. Dad would shout from the back, "slow down Raju beta! you will fall down. Jojo has four legs, she can climb fast but you have to be careful." Though we humans think we are the masters of nature and animals, Jojo showed me that it had an edge over me in our hill climbing expeditions. Jojo was a Labrador mix; I learned the love for animals from Jojo; she was a clever animal beyond what I expected. Labrador's by nature are lovely animals and one of the best dogs for a child to grow up with.

When we climbed to the top of our favorite hill Dad would like me to sit in his lap and ask me to observe the changing colors of the sunset sky. Orange, blue, golden were the usual colors. Sometimes I would see streaks of white and gray with the mingling of the floating clouds. Jojo would not rest even on the top of the hill. She would like to run, experiment with new obstacles on the slopes of the hills. I would sometimes go, collect stones and throw them as high and far as I can. Dad would smile and always caution me to be careful. Dad would sit and watch the sunset. I think that meant a lot to him. I could see that he found the peace in those sublime moments of nature.

I would run in great enthusiasm to the top the the hill and shout to my dad that our car looks so small now from the top. Everything looks so small. The tarmac road and the passing cars would look like a toy setting. I could feel the heavy presence of the huge dark mountains on the backdrop of the hills. I would say to dad, " I would like to climb those mountains."
And dad would smile and say," when you grow up!"
When one is a child one likes to achieve everything. Climb the top of the mountain, be a pilot and wander through the sky, be a truck and heavy machine driver, be a construction worker or a gardener. Everything seems possible and one dreams of being
like our dad or a full grown up man to achieve those ends. When one is young one feels like being a strong man and on the other hand, when one is in his adulthood one feels like going back to childhood and innocence. That I say is the illusion of time.

Ten thousand steps to immortality( needs editing)

Ten Thousand Steps to Immortality and Prosperity

The King J was unhappy with the state of affairs in his kingdom. There were innumerable problems that troubled him. He was a man with a moral and ethical conscience and the implementation of the laws of the old forefathers to his present social life has become impractical. People have forgotten the real meaning of the social rules and rituals of the past and hence the King was worried about the degrading state of affairs of the people in the kingdom.

Now, the old laws have become rigid and people started to make rituals out of them. The inner meaning of the old laws has been forgotten due to complacency and general lack of interest in the society for matters of philosophical interest. People were more or less happy with their normal lives. But over the years the laws have become a ritual and people used these laws during ritual worship to their small gods for material and other worldly tokens.

The King desired the renewal of the meaning of the lost laws of the land without which the people would degrade further into meaningless lives and the society would collapse. The King saw that the general taste of the people has deteriorated and more and more people have started to enjoy crude forms of entertainments. The quality of the Arts and music has come down and people have lost respect for the learned and the sage. The sage has become a fictional character. When the King was a child he heard great stories about how the sage with his/her unique understanding of the nature of reality would renew the meaning of the laws to the people and uphold the law of the land in a new light.

There were ten thousand steps to heaven which a mortal can climb to find the real meaning of the laws of the land. These steps were wide and grandiose. There was also a iron railing on both the sides of the steps. Everybody in the kingdom would visit these steps and walk a certain distance up into the heaven but come back to their homes during the night more as a passtime than as to pursue the destination or to find the truth of the scriptures. There was a special connection between these ten thousand steps and the laws of the land. In the yore, a certain mortals went up the steps and brought back the laws of the land from the heaven. The mortals had to climb all the steps for at least a couple of years to reach the sky and the legend says that this mortal heros were the first sage to bring the law of the land from the sky. The Gods revealed the secret of the law to the sage who reaches the zenith of the steps.

As days went by the King grew frustrated with the state of affairs of the people and the deterioration of civic society. Out of desperation he called all this citizens to the court house and announced a strange message.          

If any one of its citizens dares to climb the stairs to the sky and bring back the real meaning of the law he will be gifted with great prosperity. He pleaded his citizens to take the challenge and be the saviors of their law and destiny.

Actually there were at least a hundred people who decided to climb the stairs on an auspicious day. There were several dangers in climbing the stairs. There were many myths told about the stairs from the time of their forefathers. Some said that it was a  long and dangerous path and did not deserve the sacrifice of life one enjoys normally on the land. What is the use of being wise one would say when all the enjoyments one needs are within your reach on land. Though one knows that these enjoyments are temporary who would risk the time and effort to climb all the ten thousand stairs to know the truth?

Others said that only a few can reach the top and out of which only one man came back and the rest liked to stay back in the heaven. That is the reason why all the people respect the only sage of yore as the greatest man but that’s been a long time now and the people do not understand the real meaning of the law anymore.

When the race to reach the top of the stair began there were nearly a hundred of them and by the time they reached three thousand stairs there were only ten men left. Most of them returned back home not because they could not climb to the top but because they really did not believe that this mission would give any benefit to their lives. They were happy doing the ritual worship and making love to their wives, eating and drinking wine. They were also uncertain if there was any danger to their lives and they did not want to risk their precious life in pursuit of some unknown happiness.

These ten people who were left would now talk to each other while walking up the stairs so that they did not feel lonely. They would talk several topics from a wide range. Sometime they would argue if their mission was doomed to be a failure. The ten men soon became good friends, however, by the time they reached five thousand steps another five men dropped down from the mission. The journey was difficult without the usual pleasure of daily life. It needed great determination and focus and a faith in the heart that the goal is worth achieving and good for everybody and precious to oneself too.         

One would wonder how they would survive and what they did to eat and cook. The stairs was entwined with creepers which had their roots in the land that produced sweet fruits for its travelers up the stairs. They were so sweet that once ate, one would not feel hunger all day long. So one can come to the conclusion that food was not the problem but the traveling up the stairs needed discipline and self control on themselves. They had to give up the usual pleasures on life on land and have a determination to pursue the unknown. That was joy itself if one new that life on land was short and was basically a run after temporary pleasures. What could the mortals do, they could not see any other visible solution but climbing these stairs was not one of their ambitions. After all they were happy pursuing the sense enjoyments.

First 2 pages of X's Autobiography

I am X and I am a male. I feel that I am specially talented and gifted in some things. I got a good education in one of the finest schools of my country. When I was at school, I was fine at sports and competed sternly in everything. Even when I was a teenager and when I had to learn new tricks to impress friends and may be girl friends, I competed for the best looking women. I wanted all best things to happen to me because I worked hard and was intelligent. I felt I deserved the best things in life.

What is life about anyway? There is so much competition and one has to work hard to stand out. If hard work is not enough one has to be worldly wise and know what to do and how to achieve what one desires.

Winning is all that matters at the end of the day. Who cares about the losers? I got all the attention I needed from my parents and friends because I was better than others. Everyone encouraged me to do even better. To tell you the truth, things did not come to me easy. I had to work hard even study all night many days to achieve what I wanted. True, life is not that way for everyone. Some get lucky and can win a lottery. But people like me who do not have any predestined luck; there is no way to achieve success than through hard work.

As days went by and I graduated from college things changed. Now I had to get a job and may be get married to a beautiful women. I never gave any deeper thinking into these matters. All I thought about is the best job I can get with my college degree. I somehow made it in the interviews and got a high paying job. While at job I worked overtime and impressed my boss. And soon my parents got me married to an equally intelligent woman and we bore two children in a couple of years.

The point is that I do not regret anything I did. I suppose the goal of the game has been achieved by me. I have never thought about what I was supposed to do with my spare time. I started spending time with my family and started reading books and acquired new hobbies. Occasionally, I also did some adventures like going on a vacation to an island. I observed that I am in my thirties now and not as quick as I used to be as a child. My body has changed physiologically.

I had also been promoted to a management position in my company. I was good at taking care of my company. It gave me immense pleasure to see everybody salute me. Everybody respected me. But things were not the same forever. They changed. I felt, though I showed what a worldly wise person would say of a successful man, something was always missing in my life. I will confess something about my college life before I tell you the real problem I my life is now.

Though I had several friends, it was hard for me to believe in anybody. I would believe in a certain friend who would talk to me nicely but after several discussions I thought maybe that person in not worth trusting.

No one seems to understand my real problem. I felt that people were not as good as I am to them. I do a favor to them and they never return the way I did to them. I cannot understand why people are so selfish and thinking about their animal and immediate needs all the time. One day I gave a car ride to a friend of mine whom I though was getting into my inner circle of friends. I started to trust him. Let’s say his name is Y because I do not believe in real names; these real names are not worth mentioning. He had no car for himself. I worked all summer in my college canteen and avoided any parties or worthless spending and accumulated some money and got a car. Even my friend knows about how hard I worked to get the car. Rumor was that all my classmates know about how hard I worked to get the car. This ruthless friend I am talking about happily forgot about my help. He never mentioned about returning my favor in anyway. All his thoughts and actions proved that he happily forgot about my favor. But I could not avoid telling my secrets to him because I had no other friend close to me at that time. What could I do I had to talk to somebody. I also shared my deep emotions about the opposite sex and what really pricks me high in life.

He knew all my emotions and feeling. But later I felt that something was going wrong in our friendship. Sometimes he would take my car

without my permission. Although, I never showed my reluctance and behaved as if I had no bad thoughts about my friend, there was a surge of negativity in my emotions and thoughts. I felt that he never respected my hard work I expended on the car and he took me for granted. Why nice people get mistreated? Why? Thoughts like these killed me. I acted as if I bore no evil feeling towards my friend. There was a side in me who liked him, but the majority of my feeling revolted now. I had to do something. I felt he was reading my thoughts and emotions to use me. Unconsciously, I was also doing the same on him.

Then an opportune moment came to implement my negativity. For sometime now I felt that I needed no car and also questioned why I originally be fooled to own a car. I can walk to the classrooms and walk a little further to get the weekly groceries. I may waste sometime walking but now I felt better not using my car.

I probably would have used my car if my friend did not use it. Now I do not feel like touching the car. Sometimes I also felt like maybe my friend really owns the car because he uses it daily. The clever ideal I got was to deflate the tires so that no one can use it. Anyway I was not using it why should my friend use it.

I spent a lot of time on how and when to do it. If my friend thought he could read my thoughts he would have never guessed what I am for. That gave me a happy smirk. I choose a midnight and I finally immobilized my car. To my surprise my friend asked me why I deflated my tires and he was drinking alcohol with other ruthless friends of his when he saw me in that act. I was silent for a moment and did not speak. What could I say other than that I was doing the right thing? That was the end of our relationship. I felt insecure; He knew all my secrets, I hoped he does not spread them all to my classmates or black mail me. Luckily, my friend never spread my secrets outside. But sometimes when I looked at smiling junta of Y’s friends I felt they all knew about it.

I felt that marriage would end all questions of trust. But it did not turn out to be that way. I have to confess my married life was short lived and I was divorced after five years. What can you do when your spouse is not trustworthy? My children are grown up now and I feel they got greater share of their mothers genes then mine. Children are not worth a dime, I say now. My employees showed better trust than my children.

I loved them all the same. I mostly kept my feeling to myself. These are the first two pages of my autobiography. If you are interested I will send more pages. Let me know. Hope you get someone whom you can trust. It’s hard I know but do try. Remember when you fail blame others never yourself because you worked hard for it. You may sometimes feel why luck does not favor you. Life is not equal. Good people suffer and the wicked win. And it could be some other mysterious invisible had stopping your success. Also remember this world is there for your enjoyment. I know that there are always things that intervene our good intentions but what can anyone do when others do not understand us.

And finally thanks for reading. I feel I have purpose in life. And believe no one and think about yourself all the time. Our minds are programmed this way; do not try to change the iron law of the mind. All said, do not forget I love humanity. I do not show it in my actions lest others know my feelings and take advantage of me.