Different me

The other day, jealousy swept over me;
I kept watching it. It tried to enrage me.
It told me that my friends do not care for me.
No one is giving me attention.
No one loves me.
I felt low and unhappy.
I kept watching it and
went out to take a walk and fresh air.

The next day, I saw a beautiful woman,
in a bar restaurant.
Lust told me to elope her.
I kept watching lust.
That beautiful women had fair skin
and contrasting black long hair.
Our eyes are hard wired to like contrasts.
But my eyes saw her skull too.
Behind the contrast is blood and bone.
The complete picture of nature.

To fulfill desire and emotion
we are forced to act.

This day I felt  was a long day
Maybe I should have a friend to talk
These days my practice and inner disciple
are out of schedule.
So I took a decision
to spend some time after the shower
in my room and delve within.

I was talking about God
with my uncle on the telephone.
If one does action there is attachment
If one does not one is poor
Right action is a great skill
Even the wise get confused.

If one can tap into inner bliss
and let the mind and nerves
have a taste of it, then the desire
in the hard wires will give way
to the memory of the silent sitting.
These psychic memories
are the most pleasurable.
All burden is taken away
as if when one floats on water
the body feels weightless.

When not happy, there is sorrow
To be bored is to be unhappy
Boredom is unhappiness of mind.
One has to take a stand against sorrow.
I do not want to be one more
sorrow soul on this overburdened earth.
I fight the sorrow in my mind.
After all there is bliss within me.
Why should I run out to get it?

My mind became silent and peaceful
after this inner exercise.
How lazy and foolish we are
that we do not mend the mind
to enjoy the rest of the day
in peace and happiness
instead we let the lazy mind
take over our actions and sorrow
as it creeps in from the half open door.
then come lust,boredom, jealousy.
Like drunken party friends who
talk all miserable things in life and laugh.

Next time when I watch
those drunken lazy friends of mind
I shall pick up an enlightened book
that would increase the pitch of silence
and kick the lazy friends out of my mind.

Then shall my mind be calm
and act with a swift power.
I shall watch it be happy.
My mind acts best
when it is at rest and happy.

When I go out with this swift mind
I see myself and whole nature.
I see the whole woman,
Not only what my lazy mind can see.

Nature is the power of God.
It changes all the time.

I hear the silence.
They say, if one can go deeper and deeper
a greater knowledge shall come.
I am not yet there.
But I already feel the bliss.
I have a job to soak my mind and nerves
with bliss so that they do not complain.

Discipline and practice and common sense
and a desire to be happy and peaceful
is all you need.
I want to be happy in life.
I do not want to go out
and laugh at the same old jokes.
I want new experiences from within.